Reality

As I move through this sometimes painful journey called life I am beginning to realize how wrong many of my assumptions were and how wrong my judgement has been. My main problem has been my assumptions of people. The people I expected to help me and be there for me weren't there when I needed them. Reality is sometimes friends really are there for you more than blood related family. Sad but true. I'm tired of working off assumptions and living in fairy land when everyone is nice to each other and never says what they feel. I am so surrounded by that. All that comes of that is resentment. I have resentment in spades. I have experienced enough therapy, and I have let go of a lot of things, but I can't forget. I have been deeply hurt by many, and many don't know or care they have hurt me, and I'm here doing the work, trying to move past it and move on but it has become a constant theme. Then I feel guilty. It's true that many have gone through much worse things than I have, and who can really judge which is worse? This is my journey, and all of this has happened for a reason, but what I can't abide by is everyone acting like it's OK to ignore me and what's going on/ You can't only help when it's convenient for you.I am not good at asking for help either, the rejection would be worse if I specifically ask, but open your eyes. I am human. I am not perfect, and I am not as strong as I would like everyone to believe. I am emotionally fried from everything that has happened lately. I try not to let it be seen, but it's reality. I don't need half assed friends and family. Be here for me or get out of my life.